Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

16 candy shop bought by =Out-Of-Spite:iconOut-Of-Spite:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Philosophical > Open


if wishes and rainbows could be bought in a candy shop and broken
hearts melted like wax under a magnifying glass life would be different
for us because with each leap of faith we wouldn't have to contemplate all
the mistakes we've made or the chances we take

i wouldn't have to wonder what would've been or if molds of your candy
lips were in stock so i wouldn't have to miss your kiss so much and these
tears that cloud my eyes would be nothing more than rock candy pieces

if life were just a little sweeter i wouldn't feel like my heart was bleeding
and maybe all of those sweet surprises could replace all the broken parts of
us hoping that life wouldn't be so bitter when it comes to
breaking up
©2008-2010 =Out-Of-Spite
:iconout-of-spite:

Author's Comments

June Prompt #16: If

So, what if we could be repaired that easily? Would love actually exsist?

I was talking to :iconsilver-35-oasis: last night and we were discussing a change of style. I decided on this one. It's not going to be for all my poems, but I really wanted it for this prompt to make it seeming like your mind going wild with all the possibilities.
Please don't tell me where the line breaks should be or how to make a rhyme scheme from this. Or correct me on capitalization. I did it on purpose.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconkrull10:
~krull10 Jun 13, 2008, 6:15:38 AM
sweet i ge tto be hte first to comment :) I like this! i hate when we have to "explain ourselves" stylisticly....if not for the morons who deem themselves experts :)
well done!! :hug:

--
To know oneself, one should assert oneself. Psychology is action, not thinking about oneself. We continue to shape our personality all our life. If we knew ourselves perfectly, we should die. ~ Albert Camus, 1913-1960
:icons8an666:
Mood: Defeated ~S8AN666 Jun 13, 2008, 6:45:50 AM
I love it....the effect you were going for worked the explanation was not needed....
It hits a note w/ me especially.... see my fiancée left me about two months ago.

--
Love your writing; and your writing wil love you.
:iconout-of-spite:
=Out-Of-Spite Jun 13, 2008, 7:42:10 AM
lol yea I hate to too but it saves from having to respond to other people's comments about it over and over again.
Thank you dear :hug:

--
~*~We Survive What We Can't Change~*~
:blackrose:Regrets are mistakes you don't learn from:blackrose:
Surrender to the Truth: [link]
Believe the Lie: [link]
:iconout-of-spite:
=Out-Of-Spite Jun 13, 2008, 7:44:12 AM
I'm glad you liked it, I'm sorry you can relate :(
Unfortunately, I have to explain for all of those self-rightous people who what everything to be properly done and perfect (like myself sometimes X - l )
I hope that things go better for you soon. :hug:

--
~*~We Survive What We Can't Change~*~
:blackrose:Regrets are mistakes you don't learn from:blackrose:
Surrender to the Truth: [link]
Believe the Lie: [link]
:icons8an666:
~S8AN666 Jun 13, 2008, 8:00:08 AM
If nothing is ever perfect; something can only be perfectly imperfect meaning everything you ever create is perfect... I think there’s more paradox there than u can shake a stick at....

And on the other note me too.
Thank you.

--
Love your writing; and your writing wil love you.
:icons8an666:
~S8AN666 Jun 13, 2008, 8:01:19 AM
no... the logic works....Oh YEAH!

--
Love your writing; and your writing wil love you.
:iconout-of-spite:
=Out-Of-Spite Jun 13, 2008, 8:10:24 AM
Amazingly, I followed that lol.
How crazy it is that everything has to be so oxymoronic.

You're welcome dear

--
~*~We Survive What We Can't Change~*~
:blackrose:Regrets are mistakes you don't learn from:blackrose:
Surrender to the Truth: [link]
Believe the Lie: [link]
:icons8an666:
~S8AN666 Jun 13, 2008, 8:18:04 AM
It's all in the wording... words are great.... and run on sentances make me feel dirty
Can you tell I'm a Lit. geek or what.

--
Love your writing; and your writing wil love you.
:iconkrull10:
~krull10 Jun 13, 2008, 8:28:47 AM
most welcome lovely one :hug:

--
To know oneself, one should assert oneself. Psychology is action, not thinking about oneself. We continue to shape our personality all our life. If we knew ourselves perfectly, we should die. ~ Albert Camus, 1913-1960
:iconskerd22:
~skerd22 Jun 13, 2008, 9:17:39 AM
I see absolutely nothing wrong with it, so HA.

I was surprised when I first saw it, like "this is a totally different voice for her."

And it's great. Being flexible has its advantages, definitely.

Just shows how talented you are. :D
Previous Page12345Next Page

Details

June 13, 2008
901 bytes

Statistics

40
6 [who?]
237 (0 today)
3 (0 today)

Site Map

©2010 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy